Miss Smudge                                                                                                                August 2015

 

Because of the bad weather this year I seem to have spent a lot of time indoors – mainly catching up with my sleep.

We have had a number of conferences – but step mum Val has been vigorous in her attempts to see that I did not get to attend any of them.  All I wanted  to do was  to increase my knowledge of you humans and at the same time  find and sit on a nice comfortable lap during the proceedings.

I can only assume that Val is worried because she realises that us cats are already too clever.  Take getting a meal – all we have to do is meow a few times and a dish of food is placed before us – if we are not too keen on what we are given – a quick smell and then walk off.  Very soon afterwards something else is placed in front of us.  (by the way you can forget all this so called delicious processed cat food – instead serve us a nice piece of roast chicken, cooked fish or some mature cheese)

Can you imagine Ken being able to get Val to give him his dinner this easily – not a chance and if he were to give the dish a smell and then walk-off there would be eruptions.  There is no way he would be given anything else – unless it was thrown at him.

With over 40 years of marriage under his belt – he probably learnt  long  ago not to complain,  or expect meals at a set-time and above all eat and look as if he is enjoying what is put in front of him.  Or if nothing seems to be forthcoming – to prepare something himself.

I got into trouble recently stalking a bird – little did I realise it was one of Arrow`s protected species – a Swallow.  I managed to catch the youngster and brought it into the office as a present.  Well the fuss that was made was  unbelievable  - you would think it was one of the Queen`s swans!.   I dropped the bird on the office floor and immediately had several hands restraining me – what a nerve  - I was only  doing what us cats have been taught to do for generations.  After all I was rather pleased that at my age I could still move quickly enough to catch a bird.

Anyway the bird was ok – Val managed to put him on the roof where he joined his brothers and sisters waiting for their mum to feed them.  If this was not enough a Swallow (not sure if it was the same one)  obviously with a faulty sat-nav flew through the open door and went into Ken`s office.   Val stood on the desk to try and rescue it and for her trouble it flew onto her head  whilst I waited below with open mouth and bated breath hoping for a tasty morsel.

Eventually Val caught the bird and released it into the open – where it flew off as if nothing had happened.    Before it thinks about its Winter migration to Africa – it should pay a visit to Halfords – to see their special offers on sat-navs!